In Pursuit of True Love By Alan McRae

From the moment our teenage hormones kick in, we are in dogged pursuit of our True Love - our "Soulmate". An idealized composite image of what we believe is sexy, hip, entertaining, and cool. Maybe a little like some movie or tv star that catches our fancy. Most of us, after a series of less-than-perfect people have left us crying our hearts out, move on to nurturing, sympathetic, real/down-to-earth, intelligent, steadfast, caring, and sincere. While others, newly divorced with small children to care for, add mature, competent, dependable, patient, non-argumentative, punctual, financially secure, and emotionally supportive to their list. Still others, steeped in twelve-step program vocabulary and licking their wounds, demand sobriety, truthfulness, spirituality, higher-powered, and committed. In other words, as we mature in our understanding of developmental psychology through the trial & error of painful relationships, our image of "soulmate" also matures. We are no longer content with sex & good looks - we seek more enduring character virtues.

Indeed, this is precisely the path toward spiritual enlightenment itself: the Compassionate Path through the Field of Virtue. What I am suggesting is that we may use our current relationship as a yardstick of our spiritual growth! If we are still hanging out with Joe Cool, then we are still pubescent teenagers - just starting out on Life's Journey and easily fooled by shiny baubles. If we are working on a shaky relationship, fraught with emotional ups & downs and occasional infidelities, then we have begun the process of self-discovery. If we are single parents juggling children, career and self, then we are learning about self-reliance, endurance, responsibility, and total commitment. As a winner or loser in the battle with addictive behaviors, we are a step closer to self-realization and spiritual awakening: we have discovered a "Higher Power" in the universe and the possibility of redemption. And on that glorious day when we are finally touched by the Grace of God and experience the Light of Truth, we are forever changed: We See the Wisdom of a Virtuous Life!

Gone are the days when self-deception came easily: our very thoughts reveal the truth about our inner character. Even our dreams become instructive. With no place to hide, our soul must stand naked before the Light of Truth - do we measure up? Can we cultivate inner virtue and bring peace to our lives, or will we profess inner weakness and succumb to common failings - bringing pain & sorrow to those we love and to ourselves? The choice whether to surround ourselves with love & truth or lust & denial is one that we make of our own free will - and then we must live with the consequences. That is what is so sad about foolish choices and self-inflicted pain - they are freely chosen, so they reveal our innermost character flaws. And this is how we come to live lives of "quiet desperation".

People often ask me how come I'm so happy all the time? I tell them that I followed the advice of the Master: "First find the Kingdom of Heaven, then all else shall be added unto thee." During my early twenties, while my peers were fast-tracking into corporate America or doing the hippie thing, I was seeking answers within. What I found was my eternal soul, my spiritual consciousness. Not some Sunday morning go through the motions Jim Baker religiosity followed by Jessica in the hot tub thing, but the honest-to-goodness Clear Light of Reality/Truth or Consequences/This is IT thing! And ever since then I have been in Love with Life, with the Universe, with my Family, with my Self, and now with my Wife. Now don't get me wrong - I still get mad at Mankind for destroying the Earth, and I positively rail against the vulgarity & selfishness of popular culture, but I quickly return to that peaceful place in the eye of the hurricane where my spirit dwells - it is the only sensible place to be.

And that is where I was when I met my soulmate. Not in some noisy, smoky dance club, not sucking down beers in some sports bar with the fella's, and definitely not in some video dating service. But at a meeting to discuss creating a spiritual community somewhere in Virginia or North Carolina. Looking to broaden and deepen my inner peace, to share my spirit with others, I have found a bottomless wellspring of Love. I wish that everyone could experience this - but I know that most people are looking in all the wrong places. What can I say except "First find the Kingdom of Heaven..."

Alan's Writings Maggie's Place